Check out my TEDx talk by clicking here.
This is Episode 4 in my TEDx journey series. In case you missed them, here are the previous entries:
- Episode 1: My Secret to Becoming a TEDx Speaker: The Event Theme
- Episode 2: How I Became a TEDx Speaker: Getting The Acceptance Letter
- Episode 3: Why I Hated My First TEDx Talk Draft: What Was Missing
Public speaking is one of the top fears in the world. After working with clients from senior analysts to product managers to executives, the top reason I see for that fear is … fear of criticism.
I used to share that fear … and thought it was (largely) managed. But during my first TEDx Logan Circle dry run, it came roaring back with a vengeance.
This is the routine I’ve use to manage my nerves over the course of my speaking career:
1. Address them mentally
Notice what thoughts are swirling in my head and approach each with compassion. If I worry people will laugh if I mess up, I’ll reassure myself that’s never happened. And if it did, that’s more of a reflection of them then it is of me. If I worry I’ll forget something to say, I reassure myself I know the material well enough that I can improvise if needed.
2. Address them physically
Notice what my body’s feeling and approach it like a friend. If I’m breathing relatively quickly, tell myself to take slow, deep breaths. If I’m shaking and feeling overwhelmed, I’ll go to a quiet place to decompress.
3. Address them holistically
Accept that I won’t be perfect and can’t control how perfect my delivery will be. But I can control how present I am, and giving each and every moment my all.
When I went into my dry run, that carefully practiced routine went flying out the window
Because even though this was a room of people there to support me, and even though this was just practice for crying out loud … this talk was the biggest one of my life.
I kept worrying about screwing up, forgetting lines. I was rapidly breathing with shaking hands. And I was completely fixated on being anywhere but there.
The feedback:
- “Way too fast”
- “Your posture’s hunched over”
- “Nice personal love story but don’t really see connection to the theme”
- “Didn’t get the takeaways”
- “Neat but lots of ideas that are hard to understand”
I internally vomited.
Delivery aside, my content was off-base
I was trying to talk about my journey into music, my journey into data, my love story, statistics about difficulty with numeracy in the United States, how I left my job and started my company, why music is so engaging from a neuroscience perspective … and (too) much more.
That draft had 16 TEDx talks’ worth of material, 0 “ideas worth spreading”.
After the dry run I sat by myself at a table in the lobby and took my first, full breath.
I began to let go of my anxiety about the future. I began to center my mind and let the negative thoughts bubble up and peacefully pass away.
In that quiet I flipped my destructive despair into constructive conviction and thought: “I would do everything I could to make this the best talk I’ve ever given.”
I sketched on my notepad furiously some new ideas about cutting, shaving, fusing, scraping, and re-manufacturing my jumble of musings into something clear and simple.
With the second dry run in a few weeks, I was determined to have something I was proud to deliver.
Coming up next in the series is Episode 5: “My TEDx Draft 3: Even Worse than Versions 1 and 2”…
Before getting to the end of the series, you can also check out the TEDx talk below!
