Why My Second TEDx Draft Was Worse Than The First

Why My Second TEDx Draft Was Worse Than The First

Check out my TEDx talk by clicking here.

This is Episode 4 in my TEDx journey series. In case you missed them, here are the previous entries:

  • Episode 1: My Secret to Becoming a TEDx Speaker: The Event Theme
  • Episode 2: How I Became a TEDx Speaker: Getting The Acceptance Letter
  • Episode 3: Why I Hated My First TEDx Talk Draft: What Was Missing

Public speaking is one of the top fears in the world. After working with clients from senior analysts to product managers to executives, the top reason I see for that fear is … fear of criticism. 

I used to share that fear … and thought it was (largely) managed. But during my first TEDx Logan Circle dry run, it came roaring back with a vengeance. 


This is the routine I’ve use to manage my nerves over the course of my speaking career:

1. Address them mentally

Notice what thoughts are swirling in my head and approach each with compassion. If I worry people will laugh if I mess up, I’ll reassure myself that’s never happened. And if it did, that’s more of a reflection of them then it is of me. If I worry I’ll forget something to say, I reassure myself I know the material well enough that I can improvise if needed. 

2. Address them physically

Notice what my body’s feeling and approach it like a friend. If I’m breathing relatively quickly, tell myself to take slow, deep breaths. If I’m shaking and feeling overwhelmed, I’ll go to a quiet place to decompress. 

3. Address them holistically

Accept that I won’t be perfect and can’t control how perfect my delivery will be. But I can control how present I am, and giving each and every moment my all.

When I went into my dry run, that carefully practiced routine went flying out the window

Because even though this was a room of people there to support me, and even though this was just practice for crying out loud … this talk was the biggest one of my life. 

I kept worrying about screwing up, forgetting lines. I was rapidly breathing with shaking hands. And I was completely fixated on being anywhere but there. 

The feedback:

  • “Way too fast”
  • “Your posture’s hunched over” 
  • “Nice personal love story but don’t really see connection to the theme”
  • “Didn’t get the takeaways” 
  • “Neat but lots of ideas that are hard to understand” 

I internally vomited.

Delivery aside, my content was off-base

I was trying to talk about my journey into music, my journey into data, my love story, statistics about difficulty with numeracy in the United States, how I left my job and started my company, why music is so engaging from a neuroscience perspective … and (too) much more. 

That draft had 16 TEDx talks’ worth of material, 0 “ideas worth spreading”. 

After the dry run I sat by myself at a table in the lobby and took my first, full breath.

I began to let go of my anxiety about the future. I began to center my mind and let the negative thoughts bubble up and peacefully pass away. 

In that quiet I flipped my destructive despair into constructive conviction and thought: “I would do everything I could to make this the best talk I’ve ever given.” 

I sketched on my notepad furiously some new ideas about cutting, shaving, fusing, scraping, and re-manufacturing my jumble of musings into something clear and simple. 

With the second dry run in a few weeks, I was determined to have something I was proud to deliver. 

Coming up next in the series is Episode 5: “My TEDx Draft 3: Even Worse than Versions 1 and 2”…

Before getting to the end of the series, you can also check out the TEDx talk below!

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