If you prefer video content over text, I explain this material with fun, musical examples in my YouTube video.
When you speak, it’s not just your words that convey meaning. It’s your tone that plays a huge part in people’s interpretation.
In this article, I break down the different ways we can use tone to support, amplify, or even purposefully contradict the point we’re making.
What Not To Do
Consider this sentence:
“I need a boundary with you, I don’t need that perspective in my life right now”
At first glance, it seems there’s only one way to understand those words.
But that’s because we’re assuming intent.
Based on your experience in similar situations hearing similar words, you likely assumed this was said in an angry, aggressive tone of voice. But many other tones are possible…
What To Do
What if we read this sentence in a sad tone of voice:
“I need a boundary with you, I don’t need that perspective in my life right now”
In other words: “How could you do that?”
Or an amused tone of voice:
“I need a boundary with you, I don’t need that perspective in my life right now”
In other words: “I’m just playing around, I don’t really mean what I’m saying”
Or, check out how Elaine Lin Hering, bestselling author of Unlearning Silence, delivers that sentence. You only need to watch about 30 seconds from the video to get a sense of Elaine’s tone:
She says it in a calm, yet assertive, tone of voice:
“I need a boundary with you, I don’t need that perspective in my life right now”
In other words: “I get where you’re coming from, but please respect my space”
Summary
Think of how many other ways you can say that sentence. Maybe with humiliation or resignation or disbelief or guilt…
There are so many layers of nuance you can add to seemingly straightforward words. Just like in music, it’s not just the notes that carry importance. It’s the way you sing them and harmonize them that make the piece complete.
If you’re looking for further guidance on how to differentiate your communication skills and stand out in the workplace, take my free self-assessment.
I’m writing a book on thinking quickly, speaking clearly, presenting convincingly, and supercharging your executive presence. My current focus: a section on mastering vocal variety. This will be a deep-dive into techniques for adjusting the musicality of your voice and continually re-engage your audience’s attention.
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